1. |
Talking
04:16
|
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to separate oneself from everyone
is to affiliate oneself with no one
and to transform into a person who is someone for no one to look at
when my thoughts align
at the same time they are dividing
to exude a fixed sentence
would be nice
when i open my mouth it’s like shotgun shells hitting the floor
when i open my mouth i don’t want to
i don’t want to breathe anymore
words kept me up late
words kept food off my plate
my voice is a vehicle that
won’t drive straight
[chorus]
i started talking
all my teeth fell on the counter
i tried to pick them up but they were so fragile that they shattered
i started talking
all the eyes and the ears
left me stranded in a sentence that i never wished to start
my voice is muted
i don’t know how to use it
it is a dangerous tool
i never thought that having opinions would make me look like a fool
words are hard to digest
but easy to repress
my voice is a device that
is always put to the test
*chorus*
everything i knew is spilling away
my mind coils in pain, reaching for what i cannot have
a childish voice is shrilling every time i open my mouth
i am cradling the ones who are suffering
expanding and thinning in all the wrong places
talking, saying, speaking
is exposing, bleeding
thinking is private teaching
feeling is secret keeping
*chorus
|
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2. |
Silver Spoon
03:02
|
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small girl in a
grey house
she ought to know how
to shut her mouth
shape her mind like
fresh clay
she ought to know how
to think straight
a free mind leads to an
impure agenda
she ought to learn how
to meet proper criteria
buy her clothes
and count her meals
tuning out isn’t such a big deal
silver spoon resting on my lips
silver spoon going down my throat
silver spoon will take care of it
feed me my social antidote
people can’t help making it a habit
to decide what is and isn’t valid
in a girl's life, a girl’s message
her sense of self dictated by her image
what can fulfill her is chosen
printed, and filed
deviation equals only denial
she can have a voice but not too loud
who knows what nonsense she will say out loud
silver spoon resting on my lips
silver spoon going down my throat
silver spoon will take care of it
feed me my social antidote
|
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3. |
Cold Shoulder
04:16
|
|||
i told you
not to stare
i told you
just ignore
i’m feeling
twisted and tight
don’t touch me
don’t help me
i’m sorry
not ready to
link with you
not wanting to
i’m sorry
not wanting to
light the fuse
not ready to
i cannot
try to confide
in my surroundings
cuz people pry
pry inside of
inside my mind
i cannot let them
take what is mine
i’m sorry
not ready to
link with you
not wanting to
i’m sorry
not wanting to
light the fuse
not ready to
just turn around
get out of my house
i am mending
arms and legs
i am curing
what i’m allowed to correct
i am the cure i am the cure
i’m going
out tonight
leaving my body behind
stitching the corners of my mind
into something
that i can rectify
i’m sorry
not ready to
link with you
not wanting to
i’m sorry
not wanting to
light the fuse
not ready to
i’m looking for the exit signs
taking steps down an endless aisle
i'm looking for the exit signs
leaving my body behind
i told you
not to stare
i told you
just ignore
i'm feeling twisted and tight
leaving my body behind
i am looking over
over my shoulder
i am finished
talking it over
|
||||
4. |
Solitude
04:42
|
|||
i could write novels
or build houses
untwine my tongue
and learn a new language
could grow my hair long to the floor
if and only if i’m not monitored
solitude, sweet solitude
strip every layer until i’m nude
solitude, sweet solitude
i’ll never tell them the truth
i’m taking time to learn how to walk again
swallowing books whole and learning how to talk again
oh no~~ i’m not worried about making friends
in the end they’re not the ones sitting in my skin
withdraw the curtains
and lock the door
i will work myself to the core
laying silent, jaded on the floor
indecision bleeding from every pore
solitude, sweet solitude
strip every layer until i’m nude
solitude, sweet solitude
i’ll never tell them the truth
*chorus*
[my thoughts possess me with a dose of coercion
won’t take a breath until i’m fully converted
i have changed and for that i’m certain
i know i must resurrect a clearer person]
*chorus*
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5. |
Passing Through
03:09
|
|||
walking halfway across the room
looking backward looking away
starting a sentence casually
crying from anxiety
leaving things unfinished
never looking at the time
walking somewhere and getting nowhere
finding places to hide
i am just passing through
i am just like you
slipping through a narrow doorway
i return to the unknown
i am just your silhouette
left coiling alone
talking loudly to myself (to myself)
echoing right through myself (through myself)
echoing right through myself
to turn into somebody else
breathing violently
crying silently
becoming so unaware of me
i am passing through
i am just like you
|
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6. |
Mirror
05:07
|
|||
i made patience out of thin air
forged comfort in your selfish affairs
never looking for a standard solution
learning to tune out, to cancel emotion
cold fingers tipping the scale
never paying attention to detail
i’m a shining, silver utensil
i am wearing a label
when you look at me what do you see
(what do you see)
what do you see when you look through me
when you look at me what do you see
what do you see when you look through me
i’m kneeling in secret
to worship my demon
cradling your innate temptation
i am your mirror hanging on the wall
i am repeating, revealing your flaws
look straight ahead into eyes of glass
never absolute, never exact
i adopted your movements
your eyes, and every foolish sentiment
jagged hands pulling out my hair
i made patience out of thin air
when you look at me what do you see
(what do you see)
what do you see when you look through me
when you look at me what do you see
what do you see when you look through me
i have been swallowed by your eyes
i have died in your eyes
no escaping, i’m in your frame
a mirror image to manipulate
i have been swallowed by your eyes
i have died inside your eyes
i am dead to you
i have died in your eyes
i am nothing to you
i made patience out of thin air
forged comfort in the way you could not care
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Phantómódel Richmond, Virginia
post-punk/goth rock from VA
maxine juno sinclair (he/him)
Grimalkin Records
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